Monthly Archives: March 2018


I’m ridiculous, but I wanted to share this.

Last Friday, I got pizza from Domino’s for the first time since college. I’d heard that they did some soul-searching about a decade ago and discovered that perhaps customers didn’t like pizza that tasted like ketchup on a cracker topped by a slice of pasteurized processed cheese-food product, and re-engineered their offerings into something that could broadly be described as “pizza”, but I hadn’t gotten around to actually trying it. Dylan had been suggesting that he might like to since he’d seen a teacher eating some at lunch, and some coworkers were talking about their carryout special, so I pulled the trigger and bought a couple of pies, and you know what? It was pretty good. I liked it. Dylan liked it. Evie ate the cheese and pineapples off of two slices and begged for more. Leah thought it was okay.

So in celebration of this surprisingly edible pizza, I wanted to offer up the following meme:

Upon reflection, associating your pizza company’s mascot with avoidance may have been a misstep.

Tales From /lost+found 152: The House-Guest

3×19 April 2, 1999
THE HOUSE-GUEST (Serial 37, Episode 1)

Setting: Seattle, WA, UNIT Time
Regular Cast: Hugh Laurie (The Doctor), Sarah Michelle Gellar (Lizzie Thompson)
Guest Cast: Jonathan Frakes (Agent Blackwood), Ron Canada (Agent Fesick), Malcolm McDowell (Mr. McMaster/Sam Tether/The Master)

Plot: The Master describes Earth, a place of great natural beauty, abundant mineral resources, and strategic location. While derisive toward human intellect, he grants that humans are prolific and highly adaptable. At UNIT, Agent Blackwood is finishing the clean-up after the Cyb incident. Lizzie has gotten settled in her new apartment when the Doctor surprises her by materializing in her living room and asking to stay for a few days. He tells her about seeing the man they know as McMaster in eighteenth-century Europe, and that he believes McMaster has been using Seattle as his base of operations. He works with UNIT to trace McMaster’s endeavors in the city, leading him to realize McMaster may have been involved with []. McMaster, now operating under the alias “Sam Tether”, discovers the Doctor’s investigation and begins to set a trap. Despite the time they have spent together so far, Lizzie finds the Doctor a difficult roommate, and their friendship becomes stressed. While watching the local news, she gives the Doctor the idea that more mundane local crime might be connected to McMaster’s activities. UNIT is able to correlate a series of unsolved burglaries with business acquisitions to uncover the scope of McMaster’s empire. The Doctor concludes that McMaster is building a hyperspace transmitter, and this might be a prelude to a return of the Nestene consciousness – or something worse. The Doctor wants to confront McMaster, but Blackwood is unable to act, as they can’t even prove that Tether and McMaster are the same person. After a fight with Lizzie, the Doctor decides to confront McMaster/Tether alone. Lizzie improves the computer search UNIT used to discover the Sam Tether identity and finds older activities under another alias, “Matt Shere”, which suggest that he had already completed the hyperspace transmitter months ago. She realizes that the Doctor is walking into a trap, and convinces Blackwood to put together a rescue. At the headquarters of Tether’s company, the Doctor confronts his enemy, who introduces himself as the Master. He claims that he and the Doctor knew each other long ago, though the Doctor does not remember. He offers the Doctor a partnership, though is careful not to give away his plan, beyond the fact that it will yield unfathomable wealth and power. The Doctor rebuffs the offer and promises to prevent the Master from completing his transmitter, but the Master laughs this off; he isn’t building a transmitter, but a weapon which will destroy a large part of the city. He sets a countdown and challenges the Doctor to defuse the device. The Doctor attempts to trap the Master in the room with him, forcing him to disable the weapon to save himself, but the Master overpowers him and knocks him unconscious. UNIT arrives minutes later, having located the Doctor with the life-sign scanner he built for them previously. The Doctor refuses to leave without defusing the weapon, but is unable to. When the timer runs out, instead of activating, the weapon plays a taunting message from the Master, forcing the Doctor to admit he’s been outmatched. Lizzie asks about the Master’s accomplice, confusing the Doctor. The scanner had detected two heartbeats in the office in addition to his own, causing the Doctor to realize that the Master must be a fellow Time Lord. The Master completes his narration about the riches of Earth, now revealed to be the message he had broadcast months earlier. He ends the transmission by declaring bidding for the planet open.

I’m tired.

I’ve mentioned numerous times that I’ve got two small children. One of them is school-age; he just started Kindergarten this past fall. Taking care of small children is a lot of work. But that’s not actually why I’m tired this week.

What I’m tired over is worrying about them. I’m tired of worrying that some disgruntled man-child is going to take a legally-purchased long gun and shoot at them.

I’m tired of being told the problem is that parents are too lazy and aren’t engaged enough. Look, parenting is hard. I like to think I do a decent job of it, but it takes literally every ounce of strength I have to keep that up. And I’ve got a good job and live in a good neighborhood and have all manner of other things going for me.

I’m tired of being told that the problem is “mental health” when the mentally ill are far more likely to be the victims of a crime than the perpetrators. And I’m doubly tired of being told it by the same people who work day and night to make healthcare harder to afford. And I’m triple tired of being told it by people who have absolutely no intention of doing a damned thing about how shamefully broken our support and care systems for people with mental health issues are, but are just looking for a convenient out-group to stigmatize.

I’m tired of being told how children of today are “entitled” and “irresponsible” by adults who are throwing a tantrum at the prospect of having their favorite toys taken away.

I’m tired of being told that we should try ridiculous solutions since they’re better than nothing by the people who have taken all the reasonable solutions off the table.

I’m tired of being told I’m a coward by people who need a personal arsenal to feel safe.

I’m tired of being told that the survivors need to “embrace Jesus” at a school that’s 40% Jewish when the shooter etched swastikas into his magazines.

I’m tired of being told that a 5-4 SCOTUS decision from 2008 represents the one and only possibly interpretation of the phrase “A well-regulated militia”.

I’m tired of being told that banning guns won’t help when it’s helped in literally every other country it’s been tried. I’m tired of being told it by the same people responsible for the war on drugs. But then, banning assault rifles would inconvenience white men rather than serving as an excuse to disenfranchise millions of people of color.

I’m tired of it taking two weeks for the media to notice when a shooter is a white supremacist and two seconds to notice when they’re a Muslim.

I’m tired of passionate defenses of a law that exists because eighteenth century slaveowners were afraid abolitionists would take away their ability to put down slave revolts made by people who harbor the delusion that they could possibly defend themselves from government tyranny with an AR-15. I’m especially tired of hearing it from people who tell me that the black man with a legally-owned gun who was shot by the cops for no clear reason was “no angel”.

But mostly, I am tired of knowing that the next one is just around the corner.

Fix this.